Suicides of Supernovas: A Mental Health Perfect Storm All Around Us
- Josh Jones
- Apr 27, 2022
- 8 min read
The mental health spotlight appears to shine bright at certain moments of the day, but we also must realize that light only provides visibility to the surface of an object or issue. We must go deeper beneath the surface to make an impact on the mental health epidemic that is near us all. This will require a lot of muscle, thought, resources and pure focus – all of which are more than worth it when we consider the scope and scale of mental health issues, or to put in a positive light, the great opportunity we have in front of us to create an inflection point.
I am seeing a lot of volume around mental health, some good and some tragic – but more visibility will bring change and action. Necessary but difficult to manage, discouraging yet hopeful at the same time.
Today I received an email from the NY Times on their year-long series investigating the mental health crisis in our country and more specifically with our adolescents. And for good reason this is more than a single article.
In 2019 13% of adolescents reported having a major depressive episode (up 60% from 2007)
Suicide rates for adolescents (10 to 24 yrs old) were stable from 2000 to 2007, but have been on a significant uptrend also in the last 5 years. The pandemic has been more explosive fuel to an already thriving fire.
We have the attention of the US Surgeon General – in December we were warned of a devastating mental health crisis approaching. And we are seeing the evidence in 2022, piece by piece, day by day.
Cognitive implosion alert: anxiety, depression, compulsive behaviors, self-harm, suicide
New York Times article on teen mental health: Why Mental Illness in Teens is SOARING April 27th
Over the last few decades, mental health disorders have emerged as our greatest enemy and biggest public health threat to American adolescents. A troubled parent of a 13-year old who is suffering:
“You have no control over what they’re thinking,” Linda said. “I just want to tell people what can happen.”
How do we show people what can happen, how do we share our stories to prevent recurrence, what will it take for others to get the message?
No life is more valuable than another, yet certain lives and losses take more of our hearts, attention and the spotlight that is the noise or collective conscience of our society. Sometimes that noise is a beautiful harmony when we see things that warm us and in other times the noise is a blood-curdling scream of desperation and loss.
For me, there’s been a couple shrieks of terror that have my attention and I hope will catch other’s attention to the point of driving action. And by action, I mean that we must step back and take an honest look at an invisible enemy – our emotions, our feelings, the pressures of life that overwhelm our mental faculties and turn bright lights and raging fires of talent and promise into extinguished ash.
There unfortunately was no one to keep the fire burning or to catch Lauren Bernett and on Monday we lost another promising young woman to suicide. Another who ran out of energy to fight an internal mental and emotional battle, another one who succumbed to internal and external pressures, the measuring stick of our society and anguish that comes with it, another one who could find no other way but to bow down and sleep forever in the darkness. Another one that appeared out of the blue, so unexpected that it shook the earth and those around her. Another one.
The year is young, April showers bring May flowers, spring should represent new life and light, warmth, growth and hope. However, I see a downpour of despair that won’t blow over any time soon, and the dark clouds, rolling thunder and crackling, reverberating lightning strikes are frightening and powerful. We lost another national champion this week in the death of James Madison University (Harrisonburg, VA) softball player Lauren Bernett. She was just 20 years old but on Monday she took her last breath and caught her last game. On the same day she made the news for being named the conference player of the week, she made news as her life struck out in the bottom of the ninth and she will be forever gone. Bernett was in the spotlight as a part of JMU’s national championship softball team last year, she was not just a great athlete and inspiration on the softball field but in so many other ways for those that knew her.
Losing another national champion, this time on the diamond, and from all accounts a diamond in the way she shined for others each day of her 20 year life, is another tragedy and another signal that we are not paying attention to the things we should be. Mental health in our society is a powerful force, we pay attention when we hear of focus and determination that drives someone to break through in a positive way but I do not believe we process and acknowledge when those same internal feelings and emotions drive a promising life to death or other negative consequences that are just early signals (refer to the B4Stage4 analogy from MHA: https://www.mhanational.org/b4stage4-changing-way-we-think-about-mental-health ). There is so much internal pain leading to that final act. We are only mildly recognizing the stage 4 of the cancer, we are not in the early detection and treatment mode of operation around mental health, which can be the worst of all cancers.
I love how the Mental Health America (MHA) has built this new motto, B4Stage4, as eventually all of us will be affected by cancer taking a loved one, and perhaps that will resonate with us around mental health and its significance as another devastating disease and one where we must apply the same approaches as for cancer. Surely if we were more attentive, more accepting of mental health as a topic of discussion, more willing to engage in truly meaningful dialog with each other to gauge our mental state, we could work to avoid stage 4.
So Lauren Bernett, lost to stage 4 mental health, a terminal condition demonstrated as just that on Monday. She’s the second national champion we have lost to stage4 this year, joining Katie Meyer (Newbury Park, CA) the Stanford University women’s soccer team goalie and 2019 national champion team rock in goal. Katie took her own life on March 1st of this year. And Katie was the fourth suicide at Stanford in the last 13 months.
In the last few weeks, we lost another female collegiate athlete in Sarah Shulze (Oak Park, CA), the University of Wisconsin track and cross-country star. A Ventura County Star Runner of the Year in 2018, Sarah was 21 years old when she committed suicide on April 13th.
I have mixed emotions about this quote referring to Sarah from her high school track coach, she truly was able to punish herself to achieve greatness in many ways but we will never begin to know the depths to which she punished herself internally:
"She has that unique gift to go out there and punish herself," White said. "Knowing what it's going to take to meet the goals she would set. It goes to her mental toughness."
And let’s not forget about the end of January when we lost former Miss USA, lawyer and MBA, model and inspiration to thousands, Cheslie Kryst. And tomorrow Kryst’s family will honor Cheslie with a balloon release on what would have been her 31st birthday.
"On April 28, Cheslie would have turned 31 years old," wrote parents April and David Simpkins. "As that date approaches, we are already experiencing a remarkable outpouring of love and support for our Cheslie, for which we are tremendously grateful."
"Many have asked how best to honor Cheslie's memory on her birthday," they continued. "This is an individual decision, and we would not presume to decide how any fan, friend, or former colleague should remember Cheslie or memorialize her on her upcoming birthday."
These are not random events pieced together – there is a loud and clear message we need to process.
As I started this, no life is more valuable or a bigger loss than another, but we hear about certain losses more so than many others. I hope it’s because their story can help to better drive home the takeaway lesson, we are in a mental health crisis and war. And we are not winning. And our attention span is not what it should be on this issue and these events, these lost battles. Google trends shows us this spotlight only lasts about a week before we turn the page and move on. That is very unfortunate for so many who we still have a chance to save.
We will never know the pressures or the thoughts of these rising stars who became supernovas, no hydrogen left to burn. Could it be the external pressures placed on our youth and especially athletes or high-achievers of many other means? Likely, but also likely, that’s only part of the puzzle. On the pursuit of perfection – there is a very candid, heartfelt and telling article a mother wrote about her son that came out around the time of Katie Meyer’s death. The article written by Debby Waldman – The Toll that Perfectionism has taken on students like Katie Meyer, and my son NVC March 13, 2022 is one for all of us to process for ourselves, our families and our society.
As a society, we revere and reward perfection. We need to let up on the gas pedal of pressure to perform.
That’s the thing about perfectionists — they’re so good at putting up a front that you often can’t tell there’s anything wrong until it’s too late.
“There is anxiety and there is stress to be perfect, to be the best, to be number one,” Katie’s mother, Gina Meyer, said, choking back tears during an interview on “TODAY” days after her daughter’s death.
In an earlier article Debbie clearly tells us the first step to creating an inflection point – we have to accept the magnitude of the issue and talk about these things to have any chance. And to talk about them, we have to create a safe space, understand the topic, create the vocabulary we can all use and recognize (as Brene' Brown states in her new series on HBOMax – Atlas of the Heart).
None of this is new news – look back to the 2014 suicide of UPenn track athlete Madison Holleran and the 2017 best-selling book about her struggles and story:
There are positive stories – #76 Harry Miller from OSU recently shocked many by retiring from football due to mental health issues on March 10th. He is now a true warrior - sharing with us all that he fought back from depression and suicide. Football and Big10 and National Championships don’t seem that important in the context of life and how close you can come to the edge.
"At the time, I would rather be dead than a coward. I'd rather be nothing at all, than have to explain everything that was wrong," he said. "I was planning on being reduced to my initials on a back of a helmet. I had seen people seek help before. I had seen the age-old adage of how our generation was softening by the second, but I can tell you my skin was tough."
Miller, a student in the Ohio State college of engineering with a 4.0 GPA, will continue his studies. He said in the statement that Day is also finding a way for Miller to help other players in the program who might be addressing mental health.
"I hope athletic departments around the country do the same," Miller said. "If not for [Day] and the staff, my words would not be a reflection. They would be evidence in a post-mortem."
Now Harry Miller is an example of acceptance, courage. And a baseball organization recently took a great step forward to help one of their former players Andrew Toles, who has mightily struggled with mental health. The Los Angeles Dodgers re-signed Toles so that he can benefit from health coverage to treat his mental health. What a great example of taking action and support. We need more of this!
I grew up in Virginia and attended college an hour from James Madison, I drove by the soccer fields in Newbury Park CA where Katie Meyer played, also the track where Sarah Shulze ran in Oak Park, CA. this issue is all around us within arms reach.
I wrote previously about Toles, Katie Meyer, Cheslie Kryst and this dire situation around mental health, we need to take this to heart and take action. Please join the battle. We can all be HEROs with small actions. Help Effort Relentless Optimism
Defeat MindEntropy - restore order inside all of us www.mindentropy.com
Our mental health blind spot: https://www.mindentropy.com/post/our-mental-health-blind-spot-we-must-open-our-eyes-and-wallets-wage-war-against-mental-health
The staggering cost of mental health trumps all other disease states: https://www.mindentropy.com/post/munko-paint-bubbling-up-staggering-costs-of-mental-health-spectacular-rate-of-return-opportunity
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